Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Teapot D'oh!

Q:  What's the difference between President Grant and President Bush?
A:  Grant ended a civil war.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

Tenderfoot and I have talked about her moving out to Brooklyn-- my neighborhood is a lot less expensive and very livable (although she does live 2 blocks from work, which is a blessing of a sort).  I live in a nice one bedroom "floor-through" in a 3-story townhouse, convenient to good subways (the B, Q and 2/3) and close to Prospect Park.  I love the park and have been biking around it lately.  Plus, my mishpachah lives about 1/2 mile away.
I pay less than 2/3 of what TF is paying for her studio in a luxury building in Hell's Kitchen.  TF is the one who found my present apartment, sweet-talking the landlord into giving it to me instead of the hordes of other interested apartment-seekers.  He loves her and is always asking after her.  I think the rent I'm paying is probably below market because that the neighborhood has gotten safer and schamncier.  Occasional SHPOS harpoonings aside, however, I am an excellent tenant and add panache to any stoop.
A couple of weeks ago, I paid off a big chunk of my law school loans and was telling TF about it.  She said that she oughta move to Brooklyn.  Thing is, TF's family wouldn't like us living together.  They wouldn't like us dating either, but that's a whole other blog post.
So I asked her where she wanted to live in Brooklyn-- which neighborhoods, near which trains, etc.  TF said she wanted to be close to me-- one commute (to work) is enough -- near the same trains, safe, etc.  I set up this Craigslist search and said I'd check out some listings because I know the area.
Then TF says the best solution would be if she could move into the apartment on the third floor of my building.  Now, this is a very silly thing to say because (1) look alive, come on, renting two apartments in a 3-unit building? and (2) someone lives there.  No matter, we discuss this for twenty minutes.  The pros (maintain illusion for TF's family, proximity to Chez Litvak, cost) and cons (ridicule by friends, lack of near-work apartment, basically paying two rents for a big apartment with two kitchens, more ridicule).  I was on the "con" side, but mostly 'cause I thought it'd be silly.
I mention another con-- what if we broke up?
TF said she'd pour water on her floor to flood me, play loud music, etc.  I volunteered that I'd fill my landing with Rottweiller puppies (TF is terrified of dogs).  With all the contingencies addressed, we started talking about something else.  Probably how I knew Dr. Gray from Gray's Anatomy wasn't going to end up with Dr. McDreamy anytime soon. (Reason?  Then there's no plot left in the show.  Instead of whatver plot you get from intoning "Ally McBeal does surgery" over and over.)
Less than a week later, I'm browsing the Internet and check Craigslist.  In the list I see a 1BR with... my address.  For a moment, I think my landlord is renting my apartment!  Of course, it's the apartment above me.  The woman who lives there (it turned out) had just decided to move in with her boyfriend and posted the listing that morning.  I e-mailed TF, who called me back, excited, and I got excited, and TF called the woman who lives upstairs and my landlord... pre-empted another crowd of apartment hunters and is moving in on November 1st!
We're not sure if it's Destiny or silly coincidence or temptation from the Devil.  But I think it's pretty cool, if totally ridiculous.  Wish me luck with my new neighbor!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Movie Review: The Departed

The Depahted.
Matt Damon plays a "Southie" mole in the Massachusetts State Police (the "Staties"); DiCaprio plays a Southie Statie deep undercover among Southie gangsters run by Jack Nicholson.  Not a character played by Jack Nicholson, as far as I could tell, but by Jack himself.
High Concept?  Think "Good Will Hunting" meets "Reservoir Dogs."  But with even more blood.  And the characters all drop their "r"s.
The best thing in the movie is Mark Wahlberg playing a character who is supposed to be a cop or something, but whose job appears to be to drive every other character into a frothing rage with inappropriate insults taken to extremes.
DiCaprio:  Thanks fah meeting me, Sa(r)ge..  I'm sca(r)ed Jack Nicholson is gonna kill me, pa(r)k my ca(r).
Wahlberg:  #&(%! your mother.  I'm going to let them gut you and then I'll #&$! your dead %$^*!.
DiCaprio:  What's you(r) problem?  I wo(r)k fo(r) you.  I need your help.
Wahlberg:  Are you listening to me, #&$!*?  I'm too tired to help you after all the $(*%!@ your sister %$*#! $^^(#!$ on %^(!@ and $^*&!)#.  Oh, and ^$^&)(*&@!.
DiCaprio: ?
Not a bad movie.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

No Time For Losers Cause We Are The Champions

Thanks to Jack Roy for this link about an insane lying Yale undergrad and his bizarre self-promotion, cons, and especially, his autobiographical video of how AWESOME he is. Read it, watch it.
Of course his name makes it pretty likely he's a member of the tribe-- and me without the power to cast him out.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

That's a Hot Falafel

So, I wanted to make sure the best Lebanese place in New York -- Carroll Gardens' own Zaytoons-- is open for dinner tonight, and when I tried to open their webpage, I got this!:

Silly the Internet.
I'll have to check out that hot falafel-on-pita action at home.