Monday, April 30, 2007

I'm Not Worthy!

Today at BJJ, Georges St. Pierre came to train.
A really nice guy, but I'm happy not to have sparred with him today!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007


If you didn't love Heroes before, you have to love it now that it has Eric Roberts in it.
Eric Roberts? From Best of the Best?
Watch out, Heroes crew:  If I were an eccentric billionaire and Chris Penn hadn't died, I'd get the whole cast together for a live theater production of that movie.  It'd be bigger than Lion King , and Eric Roberts would be recognized for the acting-as-a-character-whose-shoulder-is-dislocated genius he is.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Super News Roundup! Suicide! Gay Cars! Corzine Crash!

The AP reports that a man jumped off the Empire State Building today (and died).
According to the article, someone called the police after seeing a severed leg (wearing a sock) on the street below.
Kudos to the NYPD for its powers of deduction-- police found the leg's owner (minus one leg, and one sock -- Aha!) on a setback on the 30th floor.
I presume the AP described the victim as "a lawyer in his 30s" to make the story seem less sad? 
Although the jumper wasn't named, you can probably deduce from this post (and from my general attachment to being alive) that the lawyer in his 30s was not The Litvak.
Also, the NYT adds to its hard-hitting coverage of "metrosexuals" and "man dates" with its report that some cars are "gay."  Bravo to Alex Williams, the Alfred Kinsey of automobiles.
And in related news, I believe New Jersey governor Jon Corzine's near-fatal car crash yesterday, which took place when an "apparently out-of-control driver" swerved into the police vehicle carrying Corzine should be investigated as a hate crime.  Against Corzine's gay car.
Isn't it hard enough being a gay police car?  I wouldn't know, but I imagine it is.  Maybe former Gov. McGreevey would know.
I wish Gov. Corzine a speedy recovery-- he's broken his left leg, sternum, collarbone, six ribs on each side and a lower vertebra.  That's 16 bones!  I don't think I even have that many bones!
I'm not a doctor, but I'm convinced the best therapy for Corzine is to just lace his skeleton with adamantium.
That'll be cool for when he's healed up and fights The Governator on top of the White House.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

The Onion on Memailed

Check out this great piece from The Onion on the NYT's Memailed list.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Plural of Ho

NYT reports on radio host Don Imus's breast-beating over his inappropriate remarks about the Rutgers women's basketball team:
Mr. Imus last week described Rutgers University's women's basketball team as "nappy-headed ho's," and then days later said everyone needed to relax and should not be offended by "some idiot comment meant to be amusing."
First, Imus should be fired.  So says this blog.  This blog, which is an authoritative source on journalistic ethics.  Which represents the moral judgment of the community.  Which the powerful read and quake (if they're bad).  Which the oppressed read it and wonder if I'm calling them SHPOSes.
Second, should there be an apostrophe used when creating a plural of the word "ho"?  Is it "ho's" and not "hos"?
I need to know.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Black Belt

My old Brazilian Jujitusu (BJJ) instructor-- featured in this post twisting some poor guy into a pretzel at a tournament-- just received his black belt from Renzo Gracie last night.
I didn't know he'd been promoted when I went to train this morning, but I should have known when I saw he had "the glow."

The Stare

NYT reports that NYC is using "three aggressive border collies" to scare Canada geese away from eating and pooping on the Kentucky bluegrass in the Sheep Meadow and Great Lawn in Central Park.
Geese, it seems, don't sweat the small stuff and can learn to ignore what's not really gonna eat them (arm-waving humans, most dogs).
But specially-trained border collies "are able to frighten geese via 'the stare,' a particular look and stance that leads geese to conclude that the dogs are predators."
(collie doing "the stare" pictured above)

"I say," one goose says to another, "do you see the look that collie is giving us?"
"I do indeed," says the other goose, biting on the stem of an unlit pipe, "but whatever shall I conclude from it?"
"Well, we must eliminate the impossible, and whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."
"No! Then you're saying that..."
"Yes! I conclude that dog is a predator. Let us remove."
And they poop elsewhere.

Now NYC just needs to hire collies to do a "particular look" that leads people to conclude that they'll be torn limb from bloody limb if they are rude on the subway.