Tuesday, May 30, 2006

3-Day Weekend Recap

This last weekend was packed...

Friday night I came home with Tenderfoot and packed up my stuff.
Saturday morning, the movers came (several hours early) and trucked me off to my new place. Three Chinese guys with a truck and shoulders like Bluto-- they rocked.
Cable guy came by and hooked me up with the Internet.
Unpacked a little; bought some stuff at the hardware store, including two gallons of primer and a barbecue grill.
Saw a big film crew shooting part of Spider-Man 3 outside my office (roll film - drop desk from a crane - Ordinary New Yorkers #s 1-47 run around in panic).
Dragged three big boxes of TF's stuff from her old apartment to her new one.
Lugged the cans of primer over to the old apartment.
Sold my old coffee table to a couple from Park Slope.
Painted over several walls of my old place with primer.
Saw X-Men 3 (one word review: "Eh." Also, The Whaler wasn't in this one, either.)
Baked a birthday cake for Tenderfoot.
Held a rooftop Memorial Day barbecue / TF's birthday party at my old apartment. Grilled food, was grilled by sun. My thanks to the many wonderful friends came by-- sorry to any reading this for spending most of my time over the coals!
Gave TF birthday presents that I think she actually liked (I dread gift-giving).
Stopped by my folks' place.
Cleaned and moved most of the remaining stuff to the new apartment. My old landlord's on my case because he says the garbage men won't pick up anything from the curb that's not in a trash bag (like the frame from my old papasan chair). I told him I don't have a hatchet or saw, so whaddayawantfrommylife? Maybe I'll throw the chair frame under the wheels of the garbage truck to make the pieces baggable.

It was great. Hope your weekend was as nice as mine.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Child of Brangelina

Next time I'm interviewed by the Associated Press, I have to remember to say enough outrageously offensive things that they give me two quotes.
Darryn Lyons, who runs some kind of paparazzi company, called the Brangelina offspring "the most anticipated baby since Jesus Christ.''
He also said ''You could probably buy Namibia with that picture [of the baby]."
And the A.P. was sure to put his quote into perspective with some ridiculous facts:
Namibia, a country half the size of Alaska, is rich in diamonds and strategic metals, but most of its 1.8 million people are poor.
I don't think that addition qualifies this piece as "news," though.  Sorry.

2006 Greatest Flag Ever Award

goes to Bhutan, for a spicy mustard-and-sweet orange sauce colored field overlaid with a dragon holding four tapioca pearls.
Flag of Bhutan

X3: Spoiler Trailer

I can't wait for X3: The Last Stand.
Actually, I'm moving Saturday, so I'll probably wait until Sunday.
But I can't wait to complain about the posters.
I admit that I like looking at Famke Janssen as much as the next guy, which is to say, I might not notice my clothes had caught fire if she were asking me for the time. Which would be an excellent kind of superpower, but evidently, her character's powers in the X-Men movies include telekenesis and the ability to, well, resurrect herself from the dead.
Which are also good superpowers. I mean, "mutations." Far superior, as mutations, to albinoism or hemophelia.
But why couldn't they have let me find out* from watching the movie?
Instead, I see Janssen all over the movie posters. And I remember distinctly from the heart-rending climax of X2 that she nobly sacrificed herself by telekenesis-ing a stealth fighter containing her pals from out of the path of a recently un-dammed body of water and was drowned.
Or should I say, drowned-ish. Of course, if she could move a plane off the ground and hold back a raging river with her mind, it really didn't make sense that she couldn't do the same thing from inside the plane .
Unless she just wanted to wash her hair and play possum until the sequel. Sigh. I feel so manipulated.
The Lord of the Rings guys managed to keep it under their hats that you-know-who** was coming back in the second film; why couldn't 20th Century Fox follow their lead?

*Okay, I admit it. I knew about the Jean Grey = Phoenix thing from the Marvel comics. But it's the principle involved, yeah?
**Long beard, pointy hat...

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Litvak Update

Big news these days for The Litvak.  Let's see...
I'm moving this weekend, from Carroll Gardens near the Gowanus Canal to Prospect Heights, right near Flatbush Avenue.
I just can't avoid my destiny as an engine of gentrification.  I should get to cheer on Ratner's project going up from my stoop.
Or, if roof access works out, from new Brooklyn Rooftop Poker home games.
Tenderfoot's birthday is coming up in a few days.  She's going to turn 25 again.  We have this deal where I increase my age by one on her birthday and she doesn't.  So far, so good.
Poker.  Well, it's not exactly new, and any of the poker bloggers I've linked to would never stop throwing up if they saw me play.  But I've started playing for very low stakes (VLS) online, which is new for me.  My bankroll went up a little, then down a little, and now I'm about dead even.  I think I've learned enough to beat VLS limit hold 'em (LHE) and VLS no-limit hold 'em (NLHE) sit & go (SNG) tournaments... when I pay attention.  Which, at 10 hour days, five days a week, would now earn me... probably less than minimum wage.  Time not to quit lawyering.
Mostly, I need to get home games going again.  The fun part for me is playing lousy poker with others who do, too, and winning or losing less than I contributed in beer money.
Online, I feel like a submarine captain who needs to outwit the other players to survive-- not always fun.
MalaysiaTerima kasi, as the Malays say.  As they say "thank you," anyway.  Tenderfoot and I got back about a week and a half ago from a vacation to Malaysian Borneo.  I'll post pictures of orangutans and things when I get a moment.  I think I'm 90% over the jetlag, which has been a killer.  A killer that waits until mid-afternoon and then stuffs an ether-soaked rag over your mouth, and can't be kept away with coffee, and gives you terrible nightmares about running ultra-marathons while conducting document discovery. 
I'll also make fun of various aspects of Malaysia, like their national tourism song, Malaysians' directions-giving aptitude, and their national motto ("Truly Asia").  So, if you want start a course of laugh-suppressing drugs to protect yourself from hilarity induced spleen rupture, maybe you can get that scrip filled tomorrow at lunch.
Exercise.  I need to start doing some again.  I'm getting fat and sluggish and irritable.  Hot summer weather should help me get ripped and shredded and maybe even thin again.  That, and some road work. No pics needed-- just imagine Ahnold and Van Damme looking at someone and thinking they need to hit the gym, and I'll be that someone.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

False Economy

Bolivia's Moves on Resources Worry Investors

Property of Bolivians
...and it was free!  ...All it cost was the trust of the rest of the world!

Monday, May 01, 2006


Then he'll try to hold his breath for the world record-- which is currently 8 minutes, 58 seconds.
While escaping from chains and padlocks, etc.
Uh huh.
It'll be fun to watch him try.