Friday, April 13, 2007

Super News Roundup! Suicide! Gay Cars! Corzine Crash!

The AP reports that a man jumped off the Empire State Building today (and died).
According to the article, someone called the police after seeing a severed leg (wearing a sock) on the street below.
Kudos to the NYPD for its powers of deduction-- police found the leg's owner (minus one leg, and one sock -- Aha!) on a setback on the 30th floor.
I presume the AP described the victim as "a lawyer in his 30s" to make the story seem less sad? 
Although the jumper wasn't named, you can probably deduce from this post (and from my general attachment to being alive) that the lawyer in his 30s was not The Litvak.
Also, the NYT adds to its hard-hitting coverage of "metrosexuals" and "man dates" with its report that some cars are "gay."  Bravo to Alex Williams, the Alfred Kinsey of automobiles.
And in related news, I believe New Jersey governor Jon Corzine's near-fatal car crash yesterday, which took place when an "apparently out-of-control driver" swerved into the police vehicle carrying Corzine should be investigated as a hate crime.  Against Corzine's gay car.
Isn't it hard enough being a gay police car?  I wouldn't know, but I imagine it is.  Maybe former Gov. McGreevey would know.
I wish Gov. Corzine a speedy recovery-- he's broken his left leg, sternum, collarbone, six ribs on each side and a lower vertebra.  That's 16 bones!  I don't think I even have that many bones!
I'm not a doctor, but I'm convinced the best therapy for Corzine is to just lace his skeleton with adamantium.
That'll be cool for when he's healed up and fights The Governator on top of the White House.

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