#$%^ A Duck!

In a Memailed article, the NYT reports that male ducks grow enormous spiral phalluses.

 

Why? 

 

Turns out male ducks rape female ducks a lot, and it's better for a female duck if she can reproduce with the mate she chooses (think of all the loser male ducks you know and it makes sense).

So female ducks evolved to have long, labyrinthine oviducts, and the males had to evolve matching phalluses just to keep up and compete with other males.

 

And I thought being oviparous was all mating-for-life and "March of the Penguins."  Yecch.