Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Subthig Wicked This Way Cubs

Just as the appearance in Gotham of Batman--detective, technophile, autodidact-- summoned Joker, Penguin, and other criminal masterminds...
Just as Superman--super-powered do-gooder--made his debut in Metropolis and spawned Lex Luthor and other kryptonite-wielding miscreants...
Just as the genesis of Spider Man--the webslinging teen--coincided with the arrival of Green Goblin, Dr. Octopus, and other villains with whom he would do battle on bridges and skyscrapers...

...so too has the good work of The Whaler--harpooning bane of SHPOSitude in New York's subways--given rise to an uber-SHPOS of unspeakable wickedness...

This morning when I got on the F Train at work, the first car I (almost) stepped into reeked powerfully of what the conductor later announced was "human waste."

Not human waste, sir, but rather subhuman-- and it was no natural smell, but rather a preternatural reek.

I held by dose ad walkt to the dext car. Oh, ban, did that sbell terrible.
I bead, peel-the-skid-off-your-flesh terrible smellig.
I was ad hour late for work!

Now, by Jove, it's over, and got on with my day.
I and my fellow commuters suffered only indirectly the evil that now lurks in the tunnels beneath the city.

Sbellig of putresedce ad waste, a shablig SHPOS spreads pestilece ad bisery...
Subthig wicked this way cubs...
...is The Whaler up to the challege of...

Hobo Habilis-- the Proto-SHPOS?

Stay tuned.

1 comment:

Jack Roy said...

Dude, if you want the skinny on hoboes (and you don't mind it being made up), you gotta get this book. Or you can just wait for me to finish and I'll hand it to ya.

That guy looks fierce, tho'.