Wednesday, June 07, 2006

And That Rhymes With "P" and That Stands for Poker!

Okay, I play poker online.
I deposited $110 a few months ago.  I've played the wicked, wicked Texas Hold 'Em.
Up some, down some.
My balance is now $95 and change.  Meh.
This, it turns out, does not prove I'm a "fish" or a mediocre player (though both may be true).
It is actually, I just learned, a testament to my timid, prudent and non-addictive personality.
 
My clairvoyant powers (and subscription to Times Select) tell me that this Sunday's New York Times Magazine has an article about some PK (preacher's kid) who ran up $7,500 in debt playing online poker in college and robbed a bank.  I read the first page, anyway.
 
Here it comes... the researchers say it's addictive; it's part of the collapse of society into a swirling vortex of debt and abortions and AIDS; poker players are cheats and gunfighters and drink whisky and hate chillurn; evil moustiachioed foreign casinos are making our youth fritter away their futures and their parents' money; cats and dogs living together-- a disaster of biblical proportions.
 
The panic, the calls for legislation, etc.
 
It's all true, loyal readers.  If the world is still around on Monday, tell me how you liked the article.  I'll be holding a nursery hostage for $15.

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