We Are Not the Problem

Dear The Livak:

I write, beseeching you as the one human who has provided, in the venerable pages of The Litvak Chronicles, a platform for the rights of those your society would otherwise ignore (here and here and here, sort of).

I write in response to this thoughtless NYT editorial complaining that random testing of cattle for Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy ("BSE") is inadequate to protect humans against a threat from eating our brains.
The piece thoughtlessly refers to BSE as "Mad Cow Disease," as if we cattle were all female, and as if our dementia--the result of being fed by-products of our own kind while in captivity by humans--were something exotic.
If it weren't for the fact that cattle are completely incapable of living in the wild, I think my disgust for humans would prompt me to flee the ranch.
As it is, however, I accept that I'm food for hairless apes, and simply ask for some consideration.

But the Times writes:

There is only one answer to this mess. It is to create a national identity system for all cattle so they can be tracked more easily and to test them one by one until we know without a doubt the incidence of mad cow disease.

This infringement of our civil rights cannot be tolerated. You can milk us, fatten us, slaughter us, breed us, brand us, and make us wear bells (actually, I rather fancy my bell), but a national ID system impermissibly infringes on our natural rights.

Dear The Litvak, hear our plea, and let the humans know that Big Agriculture is to blame, and not the privacy of good, honest cattle.

Sincerely,
Dottie

MTA vs. SHPOSitude

The NYT has a piece about the no-coffee rule on the subways.
Honestly, not a big deal. A rule about drinking coffee?

How about a rule against threatening to kill people?
(more below the jump)
I was wearing a suit (I gotta wear one to the courthouse) a few mornings ago and this scraggly man screams at me from about a foot away:
"Good morning, motherf****er, got a PROBLEM?!!"

I think some judicious rule-drafting could let that guy know he's acting out of bounds, without unnecessarily chilling the use of the term "motherf****er" or the phrase "got a problem?".

Anyway, coffe en't the MTA's biggest concern:

Fare evasion is by far the most common violation, followed by smoking, obstructing seats, littering, drinking alcohol, interfering with the movement of other passengers, failing to produce identification, selling fare cards, unauthorized commercial activity, riding outside the train, and liquid in an open container.

Hell, a few months ago I was sitting in a car where a guy was sitting in a seat near the door, eating a slice of pizza. Not drunk, not homeless, just some guy. He's taken about five bites out of the slice, when we get to a stop.
And he just
throws
the slice
onto
the
platform
outside the car.


Don't sweat it.


Hmm.

The MTA's got some real SHPOSitude to deal with. Where are you when we need you, The Whaler?!

BJJ Move #25: Major Hip Throw (several variations)

Now that I've described how to get thrown, I'll describe the most basic throw.

WARNING! These techniques could result in serious injury or death if practiced incorrectly or even if performed correctly. They should only be practiced with the supervision of an experienced instructor.

Major Hip Throw (O Goshi, hip toss), several variations:
-takedown
-basic

Preliminaries:

Standard grip: The standard grip on an opponent wearing a gi (that heavy cotton jacket and pants combo judo and jujitsu people train in) is just like the collar-and-elbow grip, but instead of grabbing behind your opponent's neck with your right hand, you grab his left collar high on his chest, and instead of grabbing his right elbow / triceps with your left hand, you grab his left sleeve just above the elbow.

The throw step:
Many judo-style throws start with this standard entry.
Start with your left foot forward and the regular grip.
Step forward with your right foot so it is directly in front of your left foot and about six inches in front of it.
Now pivot counterclockwise on your right foot while bringing your left back so your back faces him.
Your feet should be parallel to each other, about shoulder width apart.
Your knees should be deeply bent, and your legs should not be bowed out or in.
You should not be bent over very much at the waist.
Your hip / lower back must be close to his body, and you should have pulled his belly flush to your back with your arms.


Major hip throw (gi version):
From a standard grip, break your opponent’s balance to his front.
Switch your right hand to grab around his waist, step in and throw him over your right hip.
Standard foot entry, keep your feet close together so your hips can rise up underneath his hips (if they’re too far apart, you won’t come up high enough to elevate him).
You want your hip to actually go a little bit past your opponent’s hips instead of staying perfectly square.
Note that it is very difficult to get this deep into someone's defenses when he can hold you off with grips your gi jacket--it's a much easier throw to accomplish while wearing no gi.


Variation:
With your left arm, grab your opponent’s right tricep and pull his forearm into your left armpit.
Step around with your right foot to the outside of his left foot so your hips are tight to his and perpendicular to them (forming a “t”).
Put your right arm around his waist.
Keep your head tucked near his left shoulder or your right cheek against his chest. Keeping tight protects you against being thrown by your head or hit.
Now step your right foot in front of his feet so your feet are right in front of his feet, facing the same direction.
Push your hips across and in front of his hips (just a little lower than his, and just a little past them to the right to keep him from sliding around them).
Bend over at your waist, straighten your legs, pull with your right arm around your opponent’s waist and with your left hand on his right arm to toss him over your hip. Your shoulders will rotate counterclockwise. This move has a lot of mechanical efficiency and should feel very easy.
You can armlock from here— keeping hold of his right wrist in your left armpit, put your right knee into his ribs, t-stack your arms over his right elbow and apply an armlock.


Hip throw and armlock vs. Cross:
You and your opponent are both in right-handed (left-foot-forward) stance.
Your opponent throws a right cross.
Block by raising your 85% bent left arm to cover your entire left side of face/head (“covering block”) while stepping forward with your left foot. His right arm should lie across your left arm.
Now trap his punching (right) arm in your left armpit (overhook) and lean your head over his right shoulder (so he can’t hit your face with his left).
Get an underhook under his left armpit with your right hand (an overhook will let him get your back).
Now step across with your right foot, loosen your left arm and grab hard just above his elbow with your left hand and hip throw him.
When he lands, arm bar or “t-stack” armbar (as above).

Hip throw and armlock vs. Overhand Right / Haymaker:
As above, but opponent throws an overhand right or a haymaker.
Instead of the block above, step strongly forward and shoot your left hand and arm straight forward and upward, shrugging your shoulder and trying to lie your arm across his right shoulder/bicep.
Continue to hip throw as above.

BJJ Move #24: Falling Down

It doesn't always work out like you planned.
Sometimes you get tripped, thrown, swept, pushed, or just plain fall. You're going toward the ground. Now what?

You ought to know how to fall more or less safely. You may still get hurt-- these tips just help somewhat.

WARNING! These techniques could result in serious injury or death if practiced incorrectly or even if performed correctly. They should only be practiced with the supervision of an experienced instructor.

Falling Down:

Key points:

Don't hit your head.
If you're falling onto your back, tuck your chin so your head doesn't slam back into the ground. If you're falling onto your front, keep your head up and turn it to the side so you don't break your face. If you're going to end up rolling head over heels to the front or side, tuck your head and turn it away from the shoulder that's going to hit the ground first, so you don't break your neck (or face) rolling over your shoulder.

Lower yourself first.
When you know you're going down, bend at the knees, hips, and waist to start lowering your weight onto the ground. That way you aren't falling from the maximum height and your fall will be softer. You may be able to touch the ground with your shoulder or butt and start your soft(er) landing before your fall gains a lot of velocity.

Don't break your wrist, elbow, or shoulder.
You may want to reach out and stop your fall with your arms. Don't. Your arms may be strong, but you'll hurt yourself trying to catch your quickly moving bodyweight on them. Instead, if you're falling to the back or side, keep them bent and tucked against your chest, then slap them against the ground as you're falling (if you're falling to the back/side, just slap with the arm on the shoulder closer to the ground).
If you're falling onto your front, you can land on both your palms with your arms bent deeply at the elbows while balancing on the balls of your feet (so you don't bang your knees and hips . . . as much). You'll land like you're at the bottom of a pushup. Keep your head turned to the side so you don't break your face. This isn't a comfortable landing.

Slap and Spread Out.
Once you roll over to the front, or fall to the back or side, slap your palm on the ground at about a 45 degree angle from your body with your arms straight. This helps dissipate the force of your fall, and keeps you from sticking your arm out earlier to break your fall (...breaking your own arm).
If you fall straight back, slap with both arms. If you fall mostly onto the left of your back, slap with the left hand only and keep your right hand tucked in by your chest.
In general, you'd like to maximize the surface area of non-vulnerable body touching the ground at once. Slapping is part of this. Also, when falling to the side, you want your bottom leg bent at the knee and hip so the flat, fleshy part on the outside hits the ground, and the sole of your other foot should land there, too. This way (when falling to your right), you have your slapping right arm, your back / right side of your shoulder, the right side of your right leg, and possibly your left sole all pushing off the ground at once-- not just your spine or head.

Roll.
If you're not just plopping down to the front, side, or back, but instead are getting thrown head over heels (like a forward somersault), don't fight it. Go over, roll, then slap against the ground. If you fight going over, you end up thrown onto your head.
You can practice rolling by putting one hand near or on the ground, bending over at the waist, and somersaulting over your shoulder.
Even if you aren't doing a somersault, rolling across your shoulders, or onto your butt and then up your back, can convert some downward momentum in the horizontal direction and soften your fall.

Strictly Butter

The NYT reports in this piece on a recent paper on how terrorists could kill or injure hundreds of thousands by dumping botulinum toxin into a milk tanker truck.

That's a cheery thought.

And the Department of Health and Human Services wrote to the National Academy of Sciences to ask them not to publish the piece.

Even better.

The authors, Lawrence M. Wein, a Stanford business professor, and Yifan Liu, a graduate student, suggested that a small quantity of toxin surreptitiously added to a tanker truck loaded with milk might poison hundreds of thousands of Americans.
* * *
"I realize it's a difficult issue - security by obscurity, versus security by transparency," Dr. Wein said. He said he decided to proceed with publication because so much of the information was already public and because he was proposing concrete steps to safeguard the milk supply.
Some experts have asserted that Dr. Wein's paper exaggerates the danger. Dr. Alberts's editorial said recent improvements in pasteurization methods might inactivate far more than 68 percent of the botulinum toxin, the assumption used in the paper.
In addition, Milton Leitenberg of the University of Maryland, and George Smith, of GlobalSecurity.org, have posted a critique of the milk paper on the Web, calling the paper "inflammatory" and asserting that a botulinum toxin attack would be difficult to mount.

Well, now I'm reassured.
I'm ingesting all my dairy in butter form from now on. Strictly butter.

Better judged, uh, fat by twelve than carried by six.

Taiwan Loves Korea

Cool piece in today's NYT about how Korean TV dramas are becoming more popular than Japanese shows in places like Taiwan and China.

It's a bit of a shock to the old Hermit Kingdom, but it makes perfect sense to me...


I lived in South Korea back in 1997, and I can tell you that their aesthetic travels well: flashy clothing, sentimental drama, humor that can be offbeat but not very dry.
Add a young generation that's healthy (and so pretty good-looking) and highly packaged pop stars and actors (referred to as "talents"), and you've got instant export culture.

Another advantage is that Korean pop culture isn't, well, weird like in Japan. Japanese pop culture all seems to involve some grab bag of infantilization of women, nonconsensual intercourse, genetic mutation and nuclear explosions. And ninjas.
Not exactly telenovela material.

Korea's circumstances are also much more like Taiwan's than Japan-- Korea was the much crapped-upon colony of Japan, Taiwan the "little brother" colony. But both are full of smart, hard-working people and each has a big chip on its shoulder about its status in the region.

On a more personal note [cue oxytocin], this quote reminded me of an interaction I had back in my expat days:

To South Koreans like Kim Hyun Kyung, a director at Cheil Communications, an advertising agency in Seoul, feeling the reach of their culture for the first time was surprising. In 2001, during a trip to Los Angeles, she met a Chinese woman who brightened up when she learned that she was Korean.

"She was a big fan of Kim Hee Sun," Ms. Kim said, referring to a South Korean actress who is now more popular in China than at home. "She was happy that I had the same last name as she did. We were meeting for the first time, but she had a favorable image of Korea."

When I lived in Inchon, everyone asked me personal questions.
Are you married? How much money do you make? Why aren't you married? Etc.
This was long before Daniel Pearl, but I was still cagey when a Korean there first asked my religion.
I had read that anti-semitism was prevalent in Japan, where no one had ever met a Jew, but still picked up some bad impressions of us from their WWII partners in crime.

So when I told the woman, a teacher at the middle school where I was working, that I was Jewish, it warmed my expat heart that she told me Koreans had a good opinion of Jews.

"Why?" I asked. "Do you know any Jews?"
Well, that was too much to hope for.

But, it turns out that Koreans, who are big into Confucianism and ethical texts, and some people use the Talmud (or some selection from it) as a guide for child rearing. If a Korean thinks it's weird to meet LA Chinese who like Koreans because of their favorite celebrities, imagine how weird it is for a Jew to find out that Koreans read rabbinic discussions of Jewish law, ethics, and legends.

Hey, if they get to borrow the Talmud, and we get kimchi, it's an excellent deal. Utils all around.
But, uh, they can keep the bundaegi (roasted silkworm larvae):

BJJ Move #23: Standing up from the Ground

It just didn't turn out like you planned. You're on your back, and your opponent is standing up. Maybe you slipped, or he knocked you down.
Well, don't just sit there on your butt-- get up!

Without getting knocked out by a kick to the face, okay?

WARNING! These techniques could result in serious injury or death if practiced incorrectly or even if performed correctly. They should only be practiced with the supervision of an experienced instructor.

Standing up from the Ground:
-stance
-basic

First, you should be on your back (supine), not on your belly (prone).
Second, your feet should face your opponent, not your vulnerable head.

If your opponent is close, try to get your feet hooked into his knees or in his hips; the De la Riva guard will be described in another post.

If, as is more likely, your opponent isn't crowding over you, and he's in right-handed (left foot forward) stance, your stance should be as follows:

Put the sole of your left foot on the ground, left knee pointing up.
Lie on your right hip, with your right leg bent at the hip and knee and lying along the ground.
Put your right hand on the ground behind you to prop your body up a little, and keep your left hand or forearm out forward, "feeling" the distance and protecting your face. In this position, if he throws a rear leg roundhouse kick, your raised left leg and left arm will protect your face somewhat. If his right foot is forward, your position should also be reversed.

With the your right foot, kick straight out at his advancing legs with your heel, toes facing to your right. This should help keep him at a relatively safe distance.
When you see the chance, lift your hip off the ground (your weight is on your left foot and right hand), snatch your right leg backwards and stand up on your right foot.

If you want to be fancy, instead of snatching your right leg back, swing it hard in a roundhouse kick so you rise up as it’s going past and ends up behind your left foot (a la Matt Sera).

Inspirational Quote #1:

"Tragedy is I stub my toe. Comedy is you fall down a manhole and die."
--Mel Brooks

Goat Update, People!

I wrote recently to let y'all know about the Flavor that is Goat.

In that post, I praised goats for their taste & texture as well as for the attention showered on them in the Bible, and mentioned their abilities to help wean farmers off tobacco production, ease the transition of Somali refugees, remove weeds in place of pesticides, and range free in varied terrain.

Now we learn that they also prevent forest fires.

It seems our noble caprine brothers graze upon the brush that gives "brush fire" its undeniably apt name.

What can't goats do? They fight toll trolls, they give us wonderful cheese, they make fancy sweaters, and they have those weird horizontal-slit pupils.

Goat, I salute you.

BJJ Move #22: Covering Block

BJJ doesn't have a lot of striking practice.
At the same time, people in real fights do try to hit you.
You'd like not to get hurt when that happens.

Probably you should learn to box so you can block, parry, slip, bob, weave, counterpunch, take a punch, and, maybe, duck.
Failing that, keep your hands up and move into a clinch. Really, once you've come to grips with someone, you're much safer from strikes than your are when standing away from someone trading shots.

You're usually safer tying up with a bigger, stronger opponent than trying to fight him with punches. He can move you around, but you're not likely to be knocked out on your feet.
Also, if you have some grappling training, you may have a real advantage over an untrained guy with a size advantage. But most people are fairly conversant with the idea of punching you, so you'd need to be a much better boxer to have a real skill advantage in stand-up punching against a bigger opponent.

BJJ includes a very simple, straightforward and effecting blocking strategy against common punches, especially against the loopy "haymaker" punches untrained fighters tend to throw at your face when they want to hit you without getting too close.

WARNING! These techniques could result in serious injury or death if practiced incorrectly or even if performed correctly. They should only be practiced with the supervision of an experienced instructor.

Covering block:
-defense
-basic

You and your opponent are both in right-handed (left-foot-forward) stance.
He throws a right cross or a haymaker with his right.
Block by raising your 85% bent left arm to cover your entire left side of face/head.
You are making a motion like you're a greaser straightening his hair, then holding the back of your head. Your arm will lie against your head; you aren't reaching out to stop his punch like a karate block-- this block just shields your head.
You may do this while stepping forward with your left foot if you're moving in for a clinch.
If you've stepped forward, his right arm should slap across your left arm.
If you are standing still, you should turn your shoulders slightly to the right, and his right hand should hit your left arm instead of your face.
There are a number of ways this block can be used to protect you as you move in for a clinch or takedown against a punch, which I will describe in later posts.

Super Recap #1

Well, loyal blogsurfers, it's been a few days since I put anything worthwhile up here.
With all the BJJ posts, it's beginning to look like I'm the shtarker instead of this guy.

So, I'll just mention a bunch of cool things quickly:

National Geographic's got a cool piece about an early venomous mammal. Seems that poison strategy was working for the early mammals before we got all quick and strong. Rrowr! Placental mammals RULE!
Did you know that several kinds of shrews, as well as male platypuses, are venomous? 'strue.

In other animal news, the fools at Reuters believe a Kenyan farmer's story that he killed a leopard with him bare hands by ripping its tongue out.
Now, I believe some guys killed a leopard. But a live leopard isn't going to unclamp its jaws from some guy's hand so he can pull it out along with the thing's tongue. No way. They killed or wounded it, then tore its tongue out and made up a very silly story.
A carnivore's principal tool is its mouth full of pointy teeth. I don't think animals who eat other large animals for a living are confused by pretty much any reaction of their prey once they've put the bite on 'em. Not even a farmer's ninja tongue-lock.

"Go ahead, reach in and pull my tongue out, man creature."

Then again, I actually wrestled an elephant into submission once by twisting its tail, though, so maybe I'm wrong.


In other not real news, The Onion has "jumped the shark" with it's Future Issue, set in the year 2056. See, e.g., "Democratic Middle Eastern Union Votes to Invade U.S.".
You see, it's funny because, in the future, everything is reversed. Get it?
Arab nations with democracy, international cooperation, human rights, economic power... in short, a laugh riot.
Why aren't you laughing? C'mon, you can do better than that.
Wait, other articles have make contemporary issues seem silly in light of their Super Sci-Fi equivalents of 2056. Halliburton Battle Droids. Genetically modified... sigh.
Ergo, humor. Meh.

Do I waste three posts for this narishkeit? Hell, no.
Get your hot non-news right here. Bam.

BJJ Move #21: Double Leg Takedown - BJJ Style (with various setups, and notes on shooting generally)

"Okay," you say, "so I'm standing up against my opponent and I want to try all these fancy pins and submissions on the ground. How do I get him down there?"

Well, until you've learned to throw blue fireballs, you'll need to use things like takedowns.

One straightforward way is "shooting," or lunging in at your opponent, grabbing his legs, and lifting or knocking him off his feet. Here's the BJJ version of a double leg takedown, called a "baiana," along with a bunch of setups and tips.

WARNING! These techniques could result in serious injury or death if practiced incorrectly or even if performed correctly. They should only be practiced with the supervision of an experienced instructor.

Double Leg Takedown - BJJ Style (with various setups, and notes on shooting generally):
-takedown
-basic

NOTE: If you've done wrestling, BJJ shooting takedowns are different (but not necessarily incorrect or sloppy). With a freestyle wrestling double leg, you touch your lead knee to the ground and come much lower than in a BJJ-style double leg.
The BJJ version is different, ostensibly because:
(1) when fighting on a hard surface instead of mats, you don't want to bang your knee on the ground; and
(2) when wrestling, both opponents start in a lower, crouching position to protect against takedowns, while in a fight opponents stand upright-- and the BJJ style double leg is designed for shooting in underneath a jab.
I suspect another reason is that Japanese takedowns didn't really include shooting for legs, emphasizing throws and sweeps instead. In judo, for example, you can't touch your knee to the ground when going for the judo equivalent of a double leg (morote gari).
Anyway-- this move does work well.


Double Leg Takedown (a/k/a Morote Gari, Baiana) – BJJ Modified Version:
You and your opponent are in right-handed stances, left foot forward.
Change level (bend at the knees and hips--not back--so your body is lower).
Step into him (with your left foot—do not go down onto the knee like in a freestyle wrestling takedown; this is modified for fighting when not on a mat), and drive your left shoulder into him at waist level.
Keep your torso at a 45-degree angle and use your shoulder to ram into his stomach to double him over. You don't want to bend over too much at the waist, or you'll get pancaked, and you don't want to be totally upright, or you'll have no forward momentum.
Also, keep your elbows in close to your own body as you drive in-- you don't want to reach out toward his legs until you have good penetration.
Wrap your left hand around the back of his right knee, and your right hand around the back and side of his left knee. The left hand grip is harder to get because it’s farther back. Press your left cheek high and tight against his left side (just above the hip in his lower ribs, keeps you from being guillotined).
When wearing a gi (or pants), instead of looping the legs, which is pretty precarious, grab onto the pant legs.
Drive your head up behind his left armpit to unbalance him and protect against a guillotine choke.
Now:
(1) Lift his left knee, putting his weight on his other leg;
(2) Push your head up and into his side and push him back towards his rear (right) leg (which you should be able to block with your left hand). It’s like tipping a chair diagonally back on one leg—don’t drive straight back, go at an angle;
(3) Pull his legs together at the knees, as much as possible, by pulling your elbows into your knees;
(4) Continue to look behind him and drive off your right leg as if you want to go behind him.
Or, instead of tipping him over, if you have good penetration, drive up with your legs and pick him up onto your left shoulder. Dump him to your left.
When he comes down, make sure to move your body to the left, clearing his right leg, and come down in cross side. Use your left arm to block his right leg to help you keep side control (instead of being put back into guard).


Three basic takedown setups from before a clinch:
1) “Clubbing:” Using your rear hand, grab your opponent at the back of his neck and pull strongly forward so he bends over at the waist. Time your shot so you come in as he is straightening back up. If he stays bent over, spin around to his side / back, pancake him, or get a headlock / guillotine. The reason you use your rear hand is that using your lead hand opens you up to a shot / take the back on your lead side.
2) Push the head: Push your opponent’s forehead with your rear hand to straighten his back up and make him bring his hands up, then shoot low. You can also just put a hand in front of his eyes to distract him, then shoot.
3) Feint: Change your level a bit so your opponent reacts by doing the same. As he comes back up from defending your feint, shoot again before he can lower his level.


Snapdown Setup for Double Leg Takedown:
Circle your opponent.
Get "inside arm control" by placing your hands on the tops of his shoulders with his hands / arms outside yours.
Kick your left leg back as you pull your elbows into your hips to snap your opponent down in a surprise motion.
If his knees hit the floor, then jump to his back.
Otherwise, wait for him to react by straightening up, then shoot in low and grab him behind the knees as described above.
As you spin towards his back hug his knees together and drive him to the floor.


General Shooting Tips:
· Never force a clinch: this means if you are going to shoot and your opponent is pushing away over and over, back up readjust and try again. This would also be the time to strike.
· When you are starting in a standing position and are about to take your opponent down, you have to either move in fast or not at all. Once you make contact with your head, keep driving and don’t stop until he’s knocked over.
· When you are taking down your opponent by shooting for his knee or waist, always protect your neck with your arms in close to your body. Keeping your arms up protects your head from knee strikes and your neck from guillotine chokes, and keeping your arms in tight avoids the situation where your opponent simply blocks your shot by putting his hands on your upper arms.
· When shooting, keep your forehead parallel (not level, parallel) with your opponent’s shoulder: This way when you shoot in, your opponent will have to punch downwards to hit you. This is difficult to generate the proper leverage for a strike and will lessen your chances of getting decked on the way in.
· Keep your head covered when shooting and touch your elbows to your opponent's chest before completing the clinch: When you come in keep your elbows up to cover your head. Then don't grab your opponent until you have touched your elbows onto his chest. This way you will slightly disrupt his balance on the way in, and make your clinch easier.
· Every time you shoot in with your head against your opponent's waist or go to take his opponent's back, if you are going under his arm, press your head up into his armpit and bring your body around. This will help keep you from getting guillotined.
· When shooting, keep your chin and face pinned/tucked against your shoulder, to avoid having your opponent get a full arm around your neck for a guillotine choke - if anything, he will only be able to get his arm halfway around your neck.
· If you and your opponent are both in right handed stances (left foot forward), it will be more feasible to attempt a double leg takedown because when you shoot in with your left foot his rear (right) knee will be close. Conversely, if you and your opponent are in opposite stances (your left foot is forward and his right foot is forward), it will be easier to shoot for a single-leg takedown because his lead foot is right near yours, but his rear leg is very far away. Similarly, if you push, pull, or circle your opponent off balance, the foot he has forward relative to your lead foot will determine what shot is feasible.

BJJ Move # 20: Collar-and-Elbow Clinch

When standing up and fighting, you are probably going to come into close contact with someone.
Maybe you are The One, and you can move with such speed and grace that you don't need to put your hands up to protect your face and fight without any real grappling.
Otherwise, you're going to come to grips with your opponent. Here's one common grip from which you can start working other moves.

WARNING! These techniques could result in serious injury or death if practiced incorrectly or even if performed correctly. They should only be practiced with the supervision of an experienced instructor.

Collar-and-Elbow Clinch:
-standing clinch
-basic

You are facing your opponent, and you are close to each other.
Your right hand holds the back of his neck from behind (while he does the same to you).
Your left hand grabs his right arm just above his elbow from the outside (while he does the same to you).
With this grip, your left foot should be slightly forward.

From here, you can work toward a number of moves, such as a duck-under to a takedown, ankle pick, standing guillotine, superior clinches, etc.

BJJ Move # 19: What? Standing?

Unfortunately, people are reluctant to start a fight with you by lying down and waiting for you to get a good position.
In fact, they're typically standing up, so you have to stand, too.
Some basics of standing up - stance, guard, and movement.

WARNING! These techniques could result in serious injury or death if practiced incorrectly or even if performed correctly. They should only be practiced with the supervision of an experienced instructor.

Standing Basics:
-stance
-basic

Stance & Guard
Feet pointed mostly forward; don’t let your back foot point out at too much of an angle (you won’t be able to push off to move forward).
Balance your weight evenly on each foot, so you can move in either direction.
Keep your weight on the balls of your feet, not your heels (so you can move).
Raise your rear heel slightly (keeps you on the balls of your feet, more power for moving forward).
Keep your hands up, especially the rear hand, which should be near your cheek.
Elbows in to your ribs.
Head movement, shoulder movement. Keep moving.
Don’t get backed up. Circle.
Keep loose.
Chin down and tucked into lead shoulder (or you’ll get punched in the face too easily). Don’t lead with your face.
Don’t bounce up and down or hop around.
Don’t stand up too straight—your power and mobility come from pushing off the ground with your feet (impossible if you’re too upright), and it makes you vulnerable to shooting. Don’t go too low, either, or you’ll be vulnerable to kicks.

Movement
Move by "shuffling:" If you’re moving in direction X, the foot closest to that direction moves first, then the other one follows up. Don’t cross your feet (you won’t be able to change directions, you’ll fall or get knocked over). This is fast, keeps you in a position where you can execute techniques while staying on balance, and lets you expose a minimum of targets while moving.
Don’t get your feet spread out (you’ll get kicked in the crotch, ankle picked, and you’ll be immobile) or close together (you’ll get taken down or knocked over).
Don’t lean forward at the waist when you step forward (you’ll get uppercut, shot on, etc.) or lead with your face (you’ll get hit with a cross and knocked out) or lean back at the waist when you step backward (you’ll get backed up).
When circling an opponent, don’t circle towards his rear (power) hand. If he’s right-handed, circle counter-clockwise. This way you’re moving away from his heavy punches; even though he’s moving from yours, a clinching/shooting strategy favors that tradeoff. Also, the lead side is best to shoot for: it’s closer, doesn’t bring your head between his hands and between his feet (where his shots are stronger), and keeps you away from his power side.

BJJ Move #18: Armlock from Guard

Here is one of the most basic and fundamental submissions-- the armlock.

WARNING! These techniques could result in serious injury or death if practiced incorrectly or even if performed correctly. They should only be practiced with the supervision of an experienced instructor.

Armlock from Guard (juji gatame):
-submission
-basic

To lock his right arm, establish the “no-gi arm control”: hold his right wrist to your chest with your left hand, and wrap your right hand across the top of his right biceps around the outside of his right tricep, holding his elbow tight to your body (your right arm must come underneath his left arm, not over it, for you to hold his right arm down effectively). If his arm is off your body, raise your hips a little to bring them against his arm, secure the grip, then drop back down.

Put your left foot on his right hip (knee in tight to his body so he has little room to maneuver, not out at an angle) or on the mat (if you are too close to him to put it on his hip) and push your hips out to your left, swinging your head counterclockwise “so you can look into his left ear.” When you are pivoting, your butt and shoulders should come off the mat, like you’re doing an abdominal crunch, so you’re spinning on just your lower back. At the same time as you pivot, push down strongly on his back with your right leg, keeping him from sitting up. Try to bring your right foot close to your left knee. Your hips will come up off the ground and your crotch will come close to his right shoulder.

Swing your left leg over his head. If his head is too close to do this, release your left hand and push his face down with your left hand, then bring your left leg over his head.

Armlock by folding your legs over his head (don’t cross your feet), squeezing your knees together (this is critical—squeeze to immobilize his arm), pulling on his wrist, and thrusting your hips upwards against his upper arm.

Tip: When going for the armlock from the guard, put your butt in the air and keep your legs in a strong position, rather than stretching your legs way back to hook around his head in a weak position where you'll be collapsed easily.

Tip: Don’t straighten your legs to push him over—keep your knees clamped over his head to keep his shoulder close to your groin. Straighten at the hips and keep your knees bent.

Tip: When trying an armlock with no gi on your opponent, finish by wrapping your arms around his elbow like a rear naked choke.

Take that, Macho Man

I run to work about twice a week.
Sometimes I do a few pushups.
About once a week, I do some Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.
So, you know, I thought I might be in decent shape.
But these Nepalese porters put me--and, I suspect, everyone I've ever met--to shame.
Unreal.

Feel like a seven to nine day mountain trek with 90 percent (on average) of your bodyweight to your head?
How about doing that for your job?

I don't think I'd make it across the room.

BJJ Move #17: In North and South - Standard Escape

Standard escape from North & South

WARNING! These techniques could result in serious injury or death if practiced incorrectly or even if performed correctly. They should only be practiced with the supervision of an experienced instructor.

In North and South - Standard Escape:
-reversal
-basic

Get your right arm between his legs, grab his right leg from behind at the knee, and roll over to your right onto your belly, pulling his knee in towards you.

BJJ Move # 16: Kimura (a/k/a chickenwing) from North and South

Another opportunity for the Kimura-- North & South.

WARNING! These techniques could result in serious injury or death if practiced incorrectly or even if performed correctly. They should only be practiced with the supervision of an experienced instructor.
-submission
-basic

Kimura (a/k/a chickenwing) from North and South:
First, pin down your opponent’s right upper arm (between his shoulder and elbow) with your right knee/shin.
Then grab his left wrist on his belly with your right hand, palm down, your thumb facing his elbow.
T-stack your hands (left forearm underneath his left elbow, left hand on top of your own right wrist), then jerk up, bringing his left shoulder off the mat (and rising onto your left foot) and apply chicken-wing shoulderlock by turning counterclockwise (to left).

Did He Who Made The Lamb Make Thee . . . Delicious?

Ohohoho! NYT has a great piece today about the growing popularity of goat meat.

If you want to drool, keep reading. No, really.
And if you want to be warned of the risk of incurring the wrath of God:

Zak Pelaccio, chef at 5 Ninth in the meatpacking district, stops by Ms. Hushour's stand for goat shoulder, which he braises in goat's milk that he also buys from her.

Watch out, Zak!

As God put in in Exodus 23:19: "Lo tivasheil gidee bakhalev eemo," or "Don't boil a kid in its mother's milk."
Seems the Canaanites (always bad luck to be an ethnic group ending in -ite; they all go extinct) used to do this to please the gods.
And no way was God saving the Jews from Egypt so they could move into Canaan and start worshipping idols again. So he put the kibosh on all emulating sorts of local religious practices, and fast.

Later, with the "fence around the Torah" concept, careful rabbis expanded this prohibition to forbid eating any meat (including birds, which shows that rabbis aren't real champs with the taxonomy) with any dairy product. Observant Jews have separate dishes for meals containing meat and those containing dairy products. They even wait an hour between eating dairy and meat.

Now, I'm pretty much don't keep kosher (you don't say "I'm kosher"-- that means its OK to eat you).
But I ent eating no kid boiled in goat's milk.
I saw "Raiders of the Lost Ark," and I know it wasn't for nothing that God put specific prohibitions in the Bible against things like toying with the Ark of the Covenant, practicing witchcraft, and eating pigs.
Maybe you're not Jewish, or not very Jewish, but I mean-- this is pretty specific. Are you sure you want to mess with this?
Remember the melting eyeballs?
I'm not taking any chances.

On the other hand, goats in general are definitely okay.
Jews have been eating goats since before we got the Bible.
Hey, an angel even told Abraham to eat one instead of killing Isaac!

And there's nothing wrong with the Northern Chinese "young goat leg braised with soy sauce, ginger, star anise, cinnamon bark and rice wine." I know those guys don't put cheese in anything. And with that dish, I might actually believe them when they say it contains "no pork."

And an L.A.-style birria, "tortillas . . . stuffed with slowly roasted goat, chopped onion, cilantro and a hot red sauce from Jalisco in central Mexico"-- I think I'm in love.

Don't even get me started on "goat wrapped in avocado leaves, rubbed with chili, and steamed in beer." That's just foodie porn.

I don't care if I'm eating "the same breed that Heidi of the storybook tended for her grandfather in the Swiss Alps," or "Boer goat, first bred in the 1930's by South African farmers."

And I don't care if goats can help wean farmers off tobacco production, ease the transition of Somali refugees, remove weeds in place of pesticides, or that they'll "always be free range because they are climbers."

Because, Goat, He who made the lamb made thee . . . delicious.

Terry Teachout on Blogging

Read this great Commentary piece about blogs by Terry Teachout. He describes the role of blogs in the atomization of our culture and in building smaller communities for exchanging information. Smart, smart piece.

Commentary, for those who don't know, is a politically conservative Jewish publication. It is home to some of the most prominent actual neoconservatives-- as opposed people who are currently (incorrectly) called "neocons" by people who actually mean "evil archconservative" or just "Jew who voted for Dubya."

It also has some damn fine writing on domestic and international politics, culture, and good book reviews.