Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Al Bashir: The Inside Scoop!

President Al Bashir

Esteemed Western Reader:


I know you have yearned for the inside scoop on celebrity gossip that only an African dictator can provide, so prepare yourself for joy.

Pay no heed to revolutionaries and enemies of the state such as Nicholas Kristof.

In his piece in today's New York Times, Kristof scolds you for your healthy and natural interest in celebrities and their engrossing personal dramas.

If Kristof had his way, you would eat, drink, and breathe the so-called "genocides" that so-calledly occur in various hot, dusty places.

And speaking of hot, how about that J. Lo?
J Lo
Her record label, Sony BMG, was recently in hot water for "payola"--paying radio stations to play her vile Western pop songs.
Seems this shameless harlot has been caught pilfering the village granary.

Looks like someone's got a date... with the government-funded militias!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

I have all the skinny on your favorite celebs, but I have to keep you coming back, you know? Check here often for hard-hitting celebutainment.

In the meantime, forget about that that preachy schoolmarm, Kristof, and remain untroubled! Until soon, my friend!

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