Monday, May 23, 2005

More Revenge of the Sith: Kvetch #2



I have two more problems with Revenge of the Sith.
I thought "Sith" would at least bring me closure, even if it sucked (which it DID), but now the plot of the original three Star Wars movies doesn't make sense.

First (hat tip: Marnie), how did Leia remember her mother, even vaguely, if Padme died during childbirth? Okay, that's just stupid.

Not to mention the idiocy in the "Sith" scene where the doctorbot says something to the effect of:

She's dying. There's nothing physically wrong with her. She seems to have lost the will to live. You'll get my bill in the mail.

Oh. My. I think ACOG (the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology) might have something to say about a medicine-practicing machine that stops treatment on a woman in labor because she's depressed.

Second, at the end of "Sith," Obi Wan cuts off THREE (3)--yes, you read correctly-- three of Anakin's limbs with ONE (1) swing of his trusty lightsaber. Then Anakin slips down a gravelly beach and catches fire when he gets too close to some lava (which covers the planet, whose entire economy seems to revolve around catwalks and fiery hot hazards of every sort).
But Emperor Evilpants stitches him back together and attires him a retro robot costume.

Now, remember back to the first Star Wars movie, where Darth Vader (nee Anakin), with four prosthetic limbs, a respirator and extensive scarring, is spending 80+ hours per week at a desk job, running the Empire.
Obi Wan, on the other hand, spends twenty-something years of (according to "Sith") communing with the ghost of Qi Gong Jin and practicing swordplay on Tatooine. And, to all appearances, becoming a much, much better actor.

So when they face off again, Obi Wan just tells DV:

You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

He then lets DV chop him in half and disappears.
If by "more powerful than you could possibly imagine," Obi Wan meant that he'd hover around, intangible and translucent, he made a terrible mistake in underestimating the imagination of the Dark Side of the Force.

And, uh, why not just chop the walking ICU into metal confetti?

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